** Having an emergency at the beach? If you call out for a lifeguard no one will come. You’ve gotta call out, ”Help! I need a Surf Rescue Technician”.
** You’re not selling your old, used car with vinyl covered seats – you’re selling your Pre-owned, Vintage car with Leatherette seats.
** Going to Bury the Bone? – you won’t need your dog’s assistance.
** Sniffed a Floating Air Biscuit? Step back and take the next elevator car.
** You didn’t see an ugly baby – you saw an Appearance Deficient baby.
** Please don’t tell your friends that you liked the jokes at Addajoke.com. Tell them that you had a Positive Ha-Ha Experience.
My girlfriend invited me to her house.
I found her sister at home alone. She was incredibly sexy and whispered in my ear: “I have feelings for you, are we going to have sex?”. I immediately turned around and headed towards the door on the way to my car.
I found my girlfriend standing outside the door. She kissed me and said, “you’ve won my trust”.
Moral of the story:
Always keep your condoms in the car!!
Mr. Johnson went for his annual checkup and was told that he was in excellent physical condition. Seconds after he left the doctor’s office he fell over and died.
Very excited, the doctor’s assistant came running over to the doctor and said: Doctor! – Doctor! Mr. Johnson just left our office, keeled over and died!
The doctor said: Quick! – Quick!, go turn him around.
2/3 of a pun is P. U. Yes, I know, this joke is PUNishment!
Teacher: Stand up. Tell Me Two Pronouns…?
Student: Who..?? Me..??
Teacher: Very Good. Sit Down
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