Boobs: The proof that men can focus on two things at the same time.
Secrets: Something you tell everybody to tell nobody.
I saw a woman’s sweatshirt printed with “GUESS”. I said: Implants?
Well, another day went by and I didn’t use algebra once.
My favorite oxymoron: Airline food
Don’t cry over spilled milk – it could have been beer!
A windstorm blew off 25% of my oof last night.